Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Run Forrest, er Lisa...RUN!

Something fantastic happened yesterday and I feel so empowered at the accomplishments I am making in this torturous journey towards non-fatassedness. I RAN. Not ran like that half-assed gaited limp I tried to pass off for running a few weeks ago. And not ran like, i-have-to-catch-the-ice-cream-truck-before-he-turns-the-corner, or running to get the last chocolate chip cookie either. I FUCKING RAN! Now, I’m not saying I am going to be competing in any half marathons or anything, but it’s a step (or a run) in the right direction. Besides, this ass and these thighs are not conditioned for nylon running shorts or fitted shirts quite yet.

I discovered something very disturbing while running. Even now, 30 pounds later, I find that I do not check out how my backside looks when I put something on. I stand facing forward, admiring the waist I have found after years of estrangement, and I get so lost in my pride that I forget there is another side to me. And that side ain’t so pretty, let me tell you. While my waist is about 6” smaller and my belly has gone down dramatically, my ass has a mind of its own and it is not cooperating with the rest of me. That thing jiggled and bounced like an unrestrained passenger on the sinking Titanic. It was like it was its own separate entity, completely independent from the rest of my shrinking frame. I figure I can resolve to this fact in one of two ways – 1) I can start doing more lunges and squats, which is the equivalent of being stabbed in the eyes with sharp spoons in my world, or B) I can work the J-Lo booty and pretend I intended for it to be that way. I opt for plan B. Squats and lunges suck and leave me in pain for days.

I am off to the doctor for my 5 week check up today. I cannot believe it has been 5 weeks already. Time flies when you’re sweating like a pig and starving. I have a lot of days lately where I am not happy about my progress. I feel like I am working so hard, and I have sacrificed so much, and yet the number isn’t as low as I had hoped it would be. But then there are days like yesterday where I do something that seemed so far out of my capabilities, or I look at myself in the mirror and really see the changes my body is making, and I am sure I made the right choice for me. I figure, it took me 15 years to look this way, so maybe I should cut myself a little slack and give it a few more months before I march into the doctors office and unhappily and relentlessly stab her with her own pen. It only seems fair.

Me, minus 30 pounds


  1. All the cool kids have big booties! Don't sweat it! lol ;)

  2. Girl...I hope you're freaking proud of youself and showing off that J-Lo booty ...

    You look positively gorgeous. And you're only going to get gorgeous-er.

  3. Muffin - you like big butts and you cannot lie.....

    QIMP - You just made my whole day. Thank you :)