So, since I am still high off of the smell of honey baked ham, plus exhausted from a busy weekend, I am copping out of an actual blog and posting one of those "tell me more about your boring life" quizzes. Only, I answer it by my rules! So enjoy, and I will try to slough off yesterdays resentment toward all things delicious and get my head back on semi-straight.
Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
I swear to tell my warped version of the truth for your entertainment
Where were you last night?
I was home. I have an alibi I swear.
Whatever it was, and whoever did it, it wasn't me
What is today's date?
I don't have a date today. I am married.
Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?
My mommy cause she loves me
When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
I used to but it makes me mad when light items don't register and then I throw stuff
Anyone crushing on you?
The bowl of chocolate eggs across the room is giving me a come hither look.
What is your relationship status?
Married and wondering why.
LOL
Has anyone ever sang to you?
A bum sang to me once as I was going into school. It was the downtown version of Homeless American Idol. Awesome.
Has anyone ever given you roses?
You don't bring me roses anymoooorreee....(ya know, the song?)
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Not unless I was Tom Hanks and had a cool volleyball to keep me company
Who do you text the most?
The FBI to tell them where my sisters are cause those crazy girls have GOT TO BE Americas Most Wanted
How do you make your money?
I would tell you but I don't want to spend another night in the clink
First person to text today?
1-800-Fast-Cash asking if I needed an emergency loan.
I said yes, and then they told me I would have to pay it back! Bastards!!
What is your favorite color?
Blood Red
What color are your eyes?
Depends on my mood.
Sometimes brownish, green when I cry and yellow when I'm lying
What is a compliment you receive often?
Nice rack
How tall are you?
5'4"
Do you like your parents?
More than the Menendez brothers.
LOL
Do you secretly like someone?
I secretly like my husband but don't tell him
Why did your last relationship end?
Because he was a dirty little whore
Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
A bill collector
Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
To hell and back.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
I like to eat in my sleep
Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I look like the mailman
How long does it take you to shower?
depends on if I use soap
Can you do splits?
Only banana ones
Are you flexible?
I bend like a crazy straw. Thats why Tim married me.
What did you do on New Years Eve?
Your mom.
Was your mom there?
Read the above question
Can you speak any other language than English?
I speak evil
What is the last letter of your middle name?
E
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8 wonderful pain pill induced coma hours
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
I still sit in a booster seat
Are you scared of flying?
I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
What do you sleep in?
My bed
Do you like funny people or serious people?
Seriously funny people
What are you listening to?
The Circus music in my head
What jewelry do you wear all the time?
my cock ring
What do you have planned for tonight?
I am going to romance myself and then take advantage of myself
Is the last person you kissed older than you?
I don't kiss and tell. My husband gets jealous.
Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash?
Facebook. Oh, and Socialsplash sounds like something I might need antibiotics for later.
Do you have a favorite item of clothing?
My pink sparkly thong that glows in the dark.
Do you like messages or comments better?
I like when people comment on messages
Last movie you saw in theaters?
I haven't been in a theater since the uncomfortable incident where me and pee Wee Herman were in the same row.
Last thing you ate?
A pain pill
What was last thing you drank?
My last victims blood
Are you happy right now?
duh, i took a pain pill
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
My body at 18
Who makes you happiest right now?
Me having surgery means I get to spend time with my family
What were you doing at midnight last night?
i thought I told you I had an alibi!!!
Are you left handed?
Only when I kill my victims
What was for dinner tonight?
Liver and cauliflower stew
What is the last thing you thought about?
Why I ate liver and cauliflower soup
When is your birthday?
Everyday is my birthday.
Buy me something!
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
I just say No
Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
I swear to tell my warped version of the truth for your entertainment
Where were you last night?
I was home. I have an alibi I swear.
Whatever it was, and whoever did it, it wasn't me
What is today's date?
I don't have a date today. I am married.
Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?
My mommy cause she loves me
When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
I used to but it makes me mad when light items don't register and then I throw stuff
Anyone crushing on you?
The bowl of chocolate eggs across the room is giving me a come hither look.
What is your relationship status?
Married and wondering why.
LOL
Has anyone ever sang to you?
A bum sang to me once as I was going into school. It was the downtown version of Homeless American Idol. Awesome.
Has anyone ever given you roses?
You don't bring me roses anymoooorreee....(ya know, the song?)
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Not unless I was Tom Hanks and had a cool volleyball to keep me company
Who do you text the most?
The FBI to tell them where my sisters are cause those crazy girls have GOT TO BE Americas Most Wanted
How do you make your money?
I would tell you but I don't want to spend another night in the clink
First person to text today?
1-800-Fast-Cash asking if I needed an emergency loan.
I said yes, and then they told me I would have to pay it back! Bastards!!
What is your favorite color?
Blood Red
What color are your eyes?
Depends on my mood.
Sometimes brownish, green when I cry and yellow when I'm lying
What is a compliment you receive often?
Nice rack
How tall are you?
5'4"
Do you like your parents?
More than the Menendez brothers.
LOL
Do you secretly like someone?
I secretly like my husband but don't tell him
Why did your last relationship end?
Because he was a dirty little whore
Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
A bill collector
Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
To hell and back.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
I like to eat in my sleep
Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I look like the mailman
How long does it take you to shower?
depends on if I use soap
Can you do splits?
Only banana ones
Are you flexible?
I bend like a crazy straw. Thats why Tim married me.
What did you do on New Years Eve?
Your mom.
Was your mom there?
Read the above question
Can you speak any other language than English?
I speak evil
What is the last letter of your middle name?
E
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8 wonderful pain pill induced coma hours
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
I still sit in a booster seat
Are you scared of flying?
I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
What do you sleep in?
My bed
Do you like funny people or serious people?
Seriously funny people
What are you listening to?
The Circus music in my head
What jewelry do you wear all the time?
my cock ring
What do you have planned for tonight?
I am going to romance myself and then take advantage of myself
Is the last person you kissed older than you?
I don't kiss and tell. My husband gets jealous.
Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash?
Facebook. Oh, and Socialsplash sounds like something I might need antibiotics for later.
Do you have a favorite item of clothing?
My pink sparkly thong that glows in the dark.
Do you like messages or comments better?
I like when people comment on messages
Last movie you saw in theaters?
I haven't been in a theater since the uncomfortable incident where me and pee Wee Herman were in the same row.
Last thing you ate?
A pain pill
What was last thing you drank?
My last victims blood
Are you happy right now?
duh, i took a pain pill
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
My body at 18
Who makes you happiest right now?
Me having surgery means I get to spend time with my family
What were you doing at midnight last night?
i thought I told you I had an alibi!!!
Are you left handed?
Only when I kill my victims
What was for dinner tonight?
Liver and cauliflower stew
What is the last thing you thought about?
Why I ate liver and cauliflower soup
When is your birthday?
Everyday is my birthday.
Buy me something!
Do you want to get married & have children one day?
I just say No
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