Monday, April 5, 2010

I'm here for your entertainment......

So, since I am still high off of the smell of honey baked ham, plus exhausted from a busy weekend, I am copping out of an actual blog and posting one of those "tell me more about your boring life" quizzes. Only, I answer it by my rules! So enjoy, and I will try to slough off yesterdays resentment toward all things delicious and get my head back on semi-straight.

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
I swear to tell my warped version of the truth for your entertainment

Where were you last night?
I was home. I have an alibi I swear.
Whatever it was, and whoever did it, it wasn't me

What is today's date?
I don't have a date today. I am married.

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?
My mommy cause she loves me

When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
I used to but it makes me mad when light items don't register and then I throw stuff

Anyone crushing on you?
The bowl of chocolate eggs across the room is giving me a come hither look.

What is your relationship status?
Married and wondering why.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
A bum sang to me once as I was going into school. It was the downtown version of Homeless American Idol. Awesome.

Has anyone ever given you roses?
You don't bring me roses anymoooorreee....(ya know, the song?)

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Not unless I was Tom Hanks and had a cool volleyball to keep me company

Who do you text the most?
The FBI to tell them where my sisters are cause those crazy girls have GOT TO BE Americas Most Wanted

How do you make your money?
I would tell you but I don't want to spend another night in the clink

First person to text today?
1-800-Fast-Cash asking if I needed an emergency loan.
I said yes, and then they told me I would have to pay it back! Bastards!!

What is your favorite color?
Blood Red

What color are your eyes?
Depends on my mood.
Sometimes brownish, green when I cry and yellow when I'm lying

What is a compliment you receive often?
Nice rack

How tall are you?

Do you like your parents?
More than the Menendez brothers.

Do you secretly like someone?
I secretly like my husband but don't tell him

Why did your last relationship end?
Because he was a dirty little whore

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
A bill collector

Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
To hell and back.

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
I like to eat in my sleep

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I look like the mailman

How long does it take you to shower?
depends on if I use soap

Can you do splits?
Only banana ones

Are you flexible?
I bend like a crazy straw. Thats why Tim married me.

What did you do on New Years Eve?
Your mom.

Was your mom there?
Read the above question

Can you speak any other language than English?
I speak evil

What is the last letter of your middle name?

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8 wonderful pain pill induced coma hours

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
I still sit in a booster seat

Are you scared of flying?
I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.

What do you sleep in?
My bed

Do you like funny people or serious people?
Seriously funny people

What are you listening to?
The Circus music in my head

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
my cock ring

What do you have planned for tonight?
I am going to romance myself and then take advantage of myself

Is the last person you kissed older than you?
I don't kiss and tell. My husband gets jealous.

Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash?
Facebook. Oh, and Socialsplash sounds like something I might need antibiotics for later.

Do you have a favorite item of clothing?
My pink sparkly thong that glows in the dark.

Do you like messages or comments better?
I like when people comment on messages

Last movie you saw in theaters?
I haven't been in a theater since the uncomfortable incident where me and pee Wee Herman were in the same row.

Last thing you ate?
A pain pill

What was last thing you drank?
My last victims blood

Are you happy right now?
duh, i took a pain pill

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
My body at 18

Who makes you happiest right now?
Me having surgery means I get to spend time with my family

What were you doing at midnight last night?
i thought I told you I had an alibi!!!

Are you left handed?
Only when I kill my victims

What was for dinner tonight?
Liver and cauliflower stew

What is the last thing you thought about?
Why I ate liver and cauliflower soup

When is your birthday?
Everyday is my birthday.
Buy me something!

Do you want to get married & have children one day?
I just say No

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