Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Yoga? Me? Whodathunkit?

I take back every whiney, horrible thing I said about exercise last week, because now I have found yoga. And we are in love. Set aside the fact that I didn’t have to do the “modified” version of any of the moves, and the fact that I did NOT in fact break my vagina again, but that was the best workout I have had to date. It just stretched you, and worked the abs and the buns (which are firming up like fresh risen dough, thank you very much) and before you know it, your shoulders are on fire, and your legs are quivering and there is a puddle of sweat at your feet, but you feel….empowered. I am pretty sure yoga is going to help my milkshake bring all the boys to the yard. And damn right, it’s better than yours. I felt alive and renewed, and did I mention I came out of it with my vagina intact? Yoga indeed.

I never thought I would be one of those “ohm’ing” type women with yoga pants and a mat under one arm, and a half-caf, non-fat soy latte in the other hand bouncing off to “find myself” in the peace and serenity of yoga. But I really enjoyed it, plus I already own the mat and the pants, so why not give it a go? It was way more enjoyable than lifting weights and doing cardio. It’s like really worthwhile exercise for lazy whores like me. It didn’t hurt that the participants were former Biggest Loser contestants so I didn’t feel like I was competing with Barbie and Skipper.

I am sure that yoga is the thing for me for a multitude of reasons: it makes me laugh, cry, grunt, vomit, sweat like a sumo wrestler and often wish I were dead. But then…..I can’t wait to do it all over again!! I feel re-motivated to continue on with my journey of less fatassedness, minus the whining and forcing myself to workout everyday. At least for now. I do have ADD after all, and I have to wonder how long this new found fascination will last. At least I still have the Tae Bo collection that has been gathering dust in the DVD case for a couple years to fall back on. Although, I have seen the bitches in those videos and I am pretty sure I would get exhausted and pissed off and punch the TV. So, maybe I had better stick with the yoga.

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