I'm Martha Fucking Stewart, Bitch!

For realz, my new addiction is Pinterest. I can’t get anything else accomplished. I have barely made it through the Food section without creaming my pants, going blind and gaining 20 pounds just by looking at all the deliciousness.

Then there is the Poster Art section, which has super awesome pictures that MUST be posted on Facebook, on the regular, so people will think I am all super witty and funny. On someone else’s dime, of course.

I know there is more. I can see it. I am itching to look at it ALL. My Kindle is going to explode, my husband and kids will have to turn their underwear inside out because laundry won’t get done, and sandwiches may be on the dinner menu for the next month or so.

My "Favorites" tab is jam packed with new websites. My e-mail is blowing up with all the new blogs I have subscribed to. I have my laptop, my Kindle and my cellphone going simultaneously. It's a sickness. And I hope I never find the cure.

And did I mention you have to be invited to be a part of Pinterest. Oh yeah, I got invited. That’s how I roll. I’m all exclusive and “have you been invited” egotistical about it. Even if it only takes knowing one person who will e-vite you to join. Still, I was invited ya’ll. Suck on those cheddar bay biscuits.

I am going to start painting upholstery (‘cuz Pinterest told me I could with some Benjamin Moore, some fabric doo-hickey stuff, a paint brush, and zero talent), and then I am going to make clipboards out of old shutters and clothes pins, and keep the kids report cards and recipes on it so I look all earthy and cool.

I am going to garage sale hunt like a rabid dog looking for flesh so I can find an old, antique picture frame that I will paint within an inch of its life, and then I will attach plywood covered in chalkboard paint and hang that up so I can put grocery lists and dinner menus on it. Oh yeah, it’s on, bitches.

I’m going all Martha Stewart on this bitch and there is nothing you can do about it.



Except join me.

You know you want to.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Then we can be addicted together.

Because nothing says addiction like a co-dependent crafter.

Email me in the comments section for an invite. Let’s get our crafting on!