I may not be a "DreamGirl" J-Hud...but I can still kick your ass. Maybe.

I swear, if I have to watch Jennifer Hudson and her creepy, skinny face stand next to her 'circa American Idol' chubbier self, singing, I Believe, one more time, I BELIEVE I may punch her in the kidney. Repeatedly.

We get it. Weight Watchers worked for you. You're a size 6. And an inspiration. You used to be kind of fat. Whatevs.

Truth is, there are a lot of us that "believed" and lost weight, and maybe we get so lost in the success of our weight loss, no matter how we achieved that goal, that we forget that, we too, may be just as annoying as this bitch.

So for every "hey-look-how-less-fat-I-am" picture I posted almost daily in my first year of weight loss,

Yeah, this isn't douchey AT ALL!

for every "my-duck-face-looks-super-sexy-and-not-at-all-douchey" picture I posted after too many glasses of wine,

See, duck faces and wine don't mix!

and for every conversation that inadvertently turned to me and how much weight I lost because I still have insecurity about how I look, I believe I am sorry.

My "J-Hud" dayz...for real.

There is a fine line between pride and arrogance, and I never want to cross it. I never want to be a poster child or a spokesperson. I wouldn't mind being an inspiration, but on a less Jennifer Hudson level.

Cause that bitch has a bangin' body now, but her face creeps me the fuck out and there is no way she isn't wearing Spanx. Quit frontin' Jenn, we got you on this one.

Now I believe I will go delete some pictures off of Facebook, have a glass of wine, and throw away my camera.

You're welcome.