Seriously, and really? I mean, really?

Today has been a butter-my-buns-and-call-me-a-biscuit, Sucky McSuckAss kind of a day. The kind that makes you want to throw your hands in the air, scream WHAT THE F**K, punch someone in the face, high five a random stranger, and then make company with a cheap bottle of wine while watching Golden Girls re-runs.

First I had a useless doctors appointment. Basically, it was a six month follow up meant to make sure none of the meds he prescribed me killed me or forced me into a state of insanity followed by a murder spree. "Congrats! you're still alive, still fat and thanks for your co-pay" is basically what my receipt read.

I figured I would follow that up with a trip to the nail salon for some beautification and relaxation. Well color me STUPID, it turned into the most annoying part of my day. An hour after being told the wait would be 15-20 minutes, some chick with an attitude and an inability to speak english burned the shit out of my cuticles, cut my nails too short and said Have a Nice Way (I'm pretty sure she meant day). And I am pretty sure she was talking smack about me the entire time which only provokes me to want to learn Vietnamese so I can pretend to be ignorant and then rock their world by joining their conversation.

And FYI, I can never get rid of my super cool '06 Chevy Uplander. Wanna know why? Because it was made by ninjas. Wanna know how I know? Because driving home from my extremely annoying day of waiting, I was cut off three times and almost t-boned a moron in a suit on his cell phone, which gives me cause to believe that NO ONE CAN SEE ME, hence the notion that my van was surely made by ninjas!!

I am now safely at home, back in my comfy clothes and trying to shake off the endless amount of stupid I absorbed today. With a little luck and some dark chocolate, I just might make it through the rest of the day.