Sunday, February 21, 2010
Is this enough?
There is something to be said about watching other people go after and achieve their dreams. American Idol, Biggest Loser, all these reality shows where people are given an opportunity to go after what they desire, makes me wonder what dreams I gave up. It also makes me wonder if I ever really knew what my dreams were. Were they clouded by doing the things I thought were expected of me? I always gave myself up to others, whether it was as a wife, a mother, a friend, a confidant or a daughter. I always strive to make everyone else happy. In the middle of living, I never stopped to wonder if there was something else I should have been doing, or if this was my destiny. Some people are born to be writers, actors, nobel prize winners or doctors, but what if I was put here just to be this? Just to be a good mom, or a good wife, or a good friend or the confidant someone needed, or the daughter that wanted to make her parents proud? What if writing was just supposed to be something I did as a hobby to give other people something to think about? My writing is real, it's not meant to be a New York Times best seller or a nobel prize winning piece of literature. I know that I have touched people with my words, and given them something to relate to or something to make them re-evaluate their own lives, so why shouldn't that be enough? Maybe my dreams are smaller than most, but they are my dreams. Am I less of a person because I am happy and moved by watching other people do great things? Is this life I live less valuable because it's ordinary? I don't think so. And I think people need to spend less time upset that they aren't rich or famous or something spectacular, because sometimes, regular is the most honorable thing to be. What would the world be without good mothers, good friends,good family or good people? It's those of us that are grounded by our normality that create the foundation for those who achieve greatness. If I were always just a middle class citizen that allowed my children to grow into something phenomenal, or if my everyday kindness allowed someone else to achieve new goals in their life, I would die a happy, well accomplished woman. My writing may not earn me awards, and people may not stop me on the street to ask for an autograph, but if it touches just one person....just gives one person reason to pause and think....than I will be forever happy with just being average.