Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Cheater, Cheater, Ice Cream Eater...

Thinking Thin Mantra #4:

Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat.

I will be the first to admit I have cheated my way through much of my life in terms of dieting. I cheated my way from a healthy teenage girl with a raging metabolism, to a morbidly obese 35 year old with no self control. I cheated myself out of a real life for a very long time.

The game I called "Life" never seemed to allow me the chance to come out ahead and really be a winner. So I took shortcuts and made deals with the devil to try to get to where I wanted to be. I blamed everything and everyone else around me, as if that would somehow turn the tables in my favor. It's like there was some diabolical scheme set up against me that wouldn't allow me to eat pints of ice cream or bags of chips without putting on an astronomical amount of weight. What kind of alternate universe allows some people to be human garbage disposals that can inhale chili cheese fries at 2am after a drinking binge and never gain a pound, while I can simply think about the chili cheese fries and instantly gain 5 pounds and a mound of cottage cheese on my ass? I played victim, which in a sense is cheating, and therefore I just couldn't win.

I had to wake up and recognize that in order to win, I had to stop looking for the loopholes. I had to stop wishing on a shooting star, and searching for miracles in the bottom of a bottle of diet pills. I couldn't "trick" my metabolism by starving myself for days on end and then taking a day to indulge in 3000 calories of high fat crap hoping my body would be so happy for the nourishment that it would burn it off. There was no quick fix, no miracle cure, no way around simply choosing to live a healthier life.

And yes, I had surgery. Big fucking deal. Is it cheating? Maybe. Or maybe it was a way to finally win. Maybe it was the road less taken, MY path to victory, and the only way I could continue to stay in the race. Regardless, I am in it to win it. No more fad diets, no more pills, no more tabloid get thin quick schemes. Just me, strapping on my sneakers and running for my life. Literally.


  1. My doctor told me last time I was there that it's time for me to think about the surgery. I'm resisting. I know people (including an aunt) for whom it has been an incredible blessing and other who would not do it again! Plus 10 years ago I lost 200 pounds on a low carb diet so there is this voice in my head that says I can do it. And a reply that cries but you can't maintain it. I just don't know. But whatever it is I don't believe it's cheating. You have turned a HUGE corner in your thinking that the surgery could not cause all by itself. You're still working for the weight loss! And you are succeeding! I'm in awe!

  2. lisa its whatever works for you, nobody can tell you whats right or not, and you are already a winner.

  3. Beth - it has been a true blessing for me, but there are more days than I can count where I wonder "What have I done?". But in the same regards, I have never had substantial success on my own and just knew I couldn't do it on my own. Part of me wishes it weren't so "permanent" now that I know the right thing to do, but it is what it is at this point. the decision to do it or not do it is individual, and if you did 200 pounds on your OWN before, GIRL you can TOTALLY do it again! I have faith in you!

    Renata, Thank you!!!! Thank you!!! Thank you!!!